Toddler Hikes - San Antonio Creek Trail, Santa Barbara.

Yesterday (02/15/2014, Saturday) I took James on a little hike. After getting some local advice, I heard that San Antonio Creek Trail should be pretty good for little legs, and since James is only 21.5 months old, I thought that the flatter the trail is the better.

I really want to get James into hiking. There are so many beautiful places to hike in Santa Barbara and up and down the California coast. I am hoping that if I get him into it now that he will want to remain active through out his life. I feel like hiking is also a fabulous family activity and a great way to learn how to appreciate nature.
I, myself, LOVE trail running. Maybe some day James would like to try that as well. Either way, I want him to be active and healthy and be outside as much as possible.

Running Free!

Climbing on the Rocks.

This rock was a little too big!

James absolutely loved being on the trail. Other than the rocky spots (where a river at one time was), the trail was fairly easy for him to navigate. The inclines weren't too difficult for him to walk up and the declines only required a little hand holding to stop him from losing control. The only thing that I didn't like too much was that there were plenty of spots where he could have fallen down the ravines if I hadn't been paying attention. But I just had him hold my hand and kept explaining about staying on the trail. He'll get it eventually!
Another thing that was a little cause for concern was the poison oak. There wasn't a lot on the trail, but when it was there, it was right on the trail and at perfect toddler height. We had a little scare where I thought he had touched some, but so far there are no symptoms confirming this, phew!

Poison Oak.

We didn't make it the entire way around the trail. But I thought he did very well and probably walked about a mile total. Once he got tired, he just put his arms up and said "Up!" and had me carry him for just a few minutes. The hike successfully tired him out and after eating a healthy lunch he took a solid nap. We will definitely be doing this hike again in the near future!

Taking a break on a rock to eat some sweet oranges.

Christmas in Santa Barbara.

It's been quite a while since I've written anything because of being so busy with the entire moving process. We've now been back in Santa Barbara just over two weeks and I've never been happier. It took us about a week to get into a proper routine with James. For the first weeks his naps were hit and miss and meltdowns were a plenty! But now that we've been here a while and James realizes that this is his new home, he has settled and is thriving in his new surroundings. I am sure that the sun and fresh air has a lot to do with that because he is getting to spend a lot of time outside.

I think it's true what the say about not appreciating what you have until it's gone because I've been so completely appreciative of everything Santa Barbara has to offer since we got home. The beautiful mountains, the sea air and the warmth from the sun all year round. 

I was standing outside the restaurant that I work at greeting guests and passers-by and the sun was beating down on my face. Having been in Seattle where winter was well underway, I hadn't felt that heat in a long time. Also I have been very appreciative of how happy people are as they stroll up or down State street. I get so many smiles and hellos and from time to time people even stop to talk. While we do sometimes have the people who are grouchy and clearly have something going on, their moods and attitudes have not been able to ruin my positivity. 

This is the first job I've had since a month before James was born which makes it just around 20-21 months.That's a long time to go without working, so I was a little nervous but just about two hours into my first shift I felt myself relaxing and just doing what I knew how to do. I was also nervous and a little sad about ending my 'stay at home mom' period and spending so much time away from James. Thankfully James has taken to it quite well and is enjoying some one on one time with daddy. What really makes work worth it right now is that when I walk through the door, James drops whatever he is doing and comes running for a hug :)   Makes my day every time.

So long story short, being back in Santa Barbara and being back with my family is a hugely positive thing and I am excited to continue working in an awesome environment and will also be excited to get back to school in January.

Reading to James :)

I love reading to James while cuddled in the rocking chair before bed :)  He points at picture and gets excited, he turns the pages and can't wait to get to the end of one book so he can pick out another. This following text is from my favorite book. I found this pick in a little corner book shop in Gig Harbor and have read it to him a lot! I love my baby boy and this pretty much sums up how I felt when he was born :)

On The Night You Were Born.  by: Nancy Tillman

On the night you were born,

The moon smiled with such wonder
That the stars peeked in to see you
And the night wind whispered,
“Life will never be the same.”
Because there had never been anyone like you…ever in the world.
So enchanted with you were the wind and the rain
That they whispered the sound of your wonderful name.
It sailed through the farmland
High on the breeze…
Over the ocean…
And through the trees…
Until everyone heard it
And everyone knew
Of the one and only ever you.
Not once had there been such eyes,
Such a nose,
Such silly, wiggly, wonderful toes.
When the polar bears heard,
They danced until dawn.
From faraway places,
The geese flew home.
The moon stayed up until
Morning next day.
And none of the ladybugs flew away.
So whenever you doubt just how special you are
And you wonder who loves you, how much and how far,
Listen for geese honking high in the sky.
(They’re singing a song to remember you by.)
Or notice the bears asleep at the zoo.
(It’s because they’ve been dancing all night for you!)
Or drift off to sleep to the sound of the wind.
(Listen closely…it’s whispering your name again!)
If the moon stays up until morning one day,
Or a ladybug lands and decides to stay,
Or a little bird sits at your window awhile,
It’s because they’re all hoping to see you smile…
For never before in story or rhyme
(not even once upon a time)
Has the world ever known a you, my friend,
And it never will, not ever again…
Heaven blew every trumpet
And played every horn
On the wonderful, marvelous
Night you were born.

Next to Me.

I have found my new favorite artist. Emeli Sande rocks my socks! This song in particular is just my obsession right now because it pretty much talks about how I feel about Josh and how he is towards me ... unconditional love :)   So I just had to share this with you. 



Next To Me  
by: Emeli Sande


You won't find him drinking at the tables
rolling dice and staying out til 3
you won't ever find him being unfaithful
you will find him, you'll find him next to me

You won't find him trying to chase the devil
for money, fame, for power, out of grief
you won't ever find him where the rest go
you will find him, you'll find him next to me

Next to me ooooh
Next to me ooooh
Next to me ooooh
You will find him, you'll find him next to me

When the money's spent and all my friends have vanished
and I can't seem to find no help or love for free
I know there's no need for me to panic
cause i'll find him, i'll find him next to me

When the skies are grey and all the doors are closing
and the rising pressure makes it hard to breathe
well, all I need is a hand to stop the tears from falling
I will find him, will find him next to me

Next to me ooooh
Next to me ooooh
Next to me ooooh
You will find him, you'll find him next to me

When the end has come and buildings falling down fast
when we spoilt the land and dried up all the sea
when everyone has lost their heads around us
you will find him you'll find him next to me

Never in my life have i met someone like him
I'm blown away by his love for me
if you ever wonder where it is you'll find him
you will find him, you will find him next to me

Next to me ooooh
Next to me ooooh
Next to me ooooh
You will find him, you'll find him next to me

Next to me ooooh
Next to me ooooh
Next to me ooooh
You will find him, you'll find him next to me

Return to School ... Plan B.

I had sent in a letter of appeal to UCSB to see if they would accept me in the Winter 2014 quarter even though registration was closed. Yesterday the letter arrived denying my appeal because they are completely full for that quarter. I was pretty bummed ... okay, I was completely disappointed. I've had time to think about it all though and am feeling much better about plan B.

Plan B involves returning to SBCC for a short period. I didn't like this idea because I've already spent 3 years of my academic life there and have exhausted all my credit options ... at least the transferable ones. But that is the boat I sit in right now. So after looking at what I need to get into the UCSB psychology program I realized that I am missing one crucial class. Calculus. Oh the dreaded math class that I went to Antioch to avoid. Since I can no longer avoid it and have failed the class once before, I am going to spend the spring semester at SBCC just focusing on that one class. Math is my Achilles heal and taking math classes usually involves hours of attempting the homework, trying to get help and getting more confused and then quitting thus failing the class. Did I mention crying? The classes also involve a lot of frustrated crying. So if I just take that one class and get a tutor plus all the help I need, then I should be done with math by the time I reach UCSB in the fall 2014 quarter.

I don't know why so much math is required for general psychology ... I'm never EVER going to use it! But I guess I can't argue with them, I just gotta do it. After all, I have to set a good example for James. He needs to see that mommy and daddy don't quit just because something gets too difficult and so neither should he. Blah, but I still don't wanna!  :-/

Focusing on this one class will give me the opportunity to work more and spend more time with James. It means he will be over 2 years old before I start school full time, which is probably good. After all, we will have just made the big move and will be back in unfamiliar surroundings and if I suddenly disappear to school all day, he may get stressed out. You know how toddlers like routine and familiar :)

Not as easy as they said!

I have been very fit my whole life. This is most likely due to my very active lifestyle ... I played outside every day when I was little (a foreign concept these days) and went from sport to sport (ballet, soccer, basketball, field hockey, sprinting, cross country, gymnastics, modern dance, judo, sports acrobatics etc) until I got pregnant. My plan had always been to continue running and doing prenatal yoga throughout my pregnancy, but certain things (movements and poses) no longer felt comfortable and along with the morning sickness I very quickly became comfortable with sitting on the couch and keeping my legs up. I did keep walking and did prenatal yoga from time to time, but definitely not as much as I would have liked.

It took me a while to get back into working out after James came along (understandably of course) and while I said I would take my time losing the pregnancy weight it is definitely taking me longer than I thought it would. I gained a total of 35 pounds and lost 25 of that very quickly, but those last 10 pounds have been very stubborn for the last 6 months (James is 13 months). I had lost 5 of those last 10 pounds about 2 months ago, but fell back into bad eating habits and gained them back quicker than they were lost.

So here I sit again ... starting my healthy eating and exercising to once again try to beat these last 10 pounds. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm not over-weight, but I would like my body back. I have tried to embrace my new curves and I almost succeeded, but seeing photos of myself just makes me unhappy. Josh always tells me that I am beautiful and attractive and sexy and I love that he accepts my new physical self but unless you truly feel that you are attractive as you are, nobody can convince you otherwise.

I want to love my body again and I want to want to be in photos and I want to not be self conscious in a tight tshirt or bikini. So I am eating a wholesome diet and trying to get exercise 4-5 times a week. I will get healthy and I will feel happy about my physical self once again :)

Chaos in my Head

I have so much going on in my mind right now. I need to start applying for federal aid for school in January but its hard to know where to start. I suppose I'd start with the FAFSA, but there are grants and loans etc that want you to be accepted to a school before they decide if they want to give you anything ... Well, I cannot apply to school until I know I'm getting a loan because I can't afford it any other way ... ugh so dumb!

I'm thinking I'll be applying to 3 schools ...  SBCC in case the other ones don't accept transfers. UCSB, which will be my likely school due to the fact that it will cost a lot less than option number three and it will be close to home, not to mention that they have the classes and degree that I need. My third application will go to Antioch University. AU is where I started my degree in psychology, but I ran out of funds after just two semesters and because I did not yet have my green card yet I couldn't get a federal loan. But we got the green card in March after being here for 11 years, so I can finally get those loans I need (I hope).
I would love to continue and finish my education at AU, but the loan would be much too big and with a child I don't want that much debt. So I would have to get some serious scholarships or grants etc before I'd consider going back.

So between loans, grants and scholarships, my head is spinning. If you or anyone you know have ample knowledge about the subject please reach out to me! I would be very grateful!