I have found my new favorite artist. Emeli Sande rocks my socks! This song in particular is just my obsession right now because it pretty much talks about how I feel about Josh and how he is towards me ... unconditional love :) So I just had to share this with you.
Next To Me
by: Emeli Sande
You won't find him drinking at the tables
rolling dice and staying out til 3
you won't ever find him being unfaithful
you will find him, you'll find him next to me
You won't find him trying to chase the devil
for money, fame, for power, out of grief
you won't ever find him where the rest go
you will find him, you'll find him next to me
Next to me ooooh
Next to me ooooh
Next to me ooooh
You will find him, you'll find him next to me
When the money's spent and all my friends have vanished
and I can't seem to find no help or love for free
I know there's no need for me to panic
cause i'll find him, i'll find him next to me
When the skies are grey and all the doors are closing
and the rising pressure makes it hard to breathe
well, all I need is a hand to stop the tears from falling
I will find him, will find him next to me
Next to me ooooh
Next to me ooooh
Next to me ooooh
You will find him, you'll find him next to me
When the end has come and buildings falling down fast
when we spoilt the land and dried up all the sea
when everyone has lost their heads around us
you will find him you'll find him next to me
Never in my life have i met someone like him
I'm blown away by his love for me
if you ever wonder where it is you'll find him
you will find him, you will find him next to me
Next to me ooooh
Next to me ooooh
Next to me ooooh
You will find him, you'll find him next to me
Next to me ooooh
Next to me ooooh
Next to me ooooh
You will find him, you'll find him next to me
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Return to School ... Plan B.
I had sent in a letter of appeal to UCSB to see if they would accept me in the Winter 2014 quarter even though registration was closed. Yesterday the letter arrived denying my appeal because they are completely full for that quarter. I was pretty bummed ... okay, I was completely disappointed. I've had time to think about it all though and am feeling much better about plan B.
Plan B involves returning to SBCC for a short period. I didn't like this idea because I've already spent 3 years of my academic life there and have exhausted all my credit options ... at least the transferable ones. But that is the boat I sit in right now. So after looking at what I need to get into the UCSB psychology program I realized that I am missing one crucial class. Calculus. Oh the dreaded math class that I went to Antioch to avoid. Since I can no longer avoid it and have failed the class once before, I am going to spend the spring semester at SBCC just focusing on that one class. Math is my Achilles heal and taking math classes usually involves hours of attempting the homework, trying to get help and getting more confused and then quitting thus failing the class. Did I mention crying? The classes also involve a lot of frustrated crying. So if I just take that one class and get a tutor plus all the help I need, then I should be done with math by the time I reach UCSB in the fall 2014 quarter.
I don't know why so much math is required for general psychology ... I'm never EVER going to use it! But I guess I can't argue with them, I just gotta do it. After all, I have to set a good example for James. He needs to see that mommy and daddy don't quit just because something gets too difficult and so neither should he. Blah, but I still don't wanna! :-/
Focusing on this one class will give me the opportunity to work more and spend more time with James. It means he will be over 2 years old before I start school full time, which is probably good. After all, we will have just made the big move and will be back in unfamiliar surroundings and if I suddenly disappear to school all day, he may get stressed out. You know how toddlers like routine and familiar :)
Plan B involves returning to SBCC for a short period. I didn't like this idea because I've already spent 3 years of my academic life there and have exhausted all my credit options ... at least the transferable ones. But that is the boat I sit in right now. So after looking at what I need to get into the UCSB psychology program I realized that I am missing one crucial class. Calculus. Oh the dreaded math class that I went to Antioch to avoid. Since I can no longer avoid it and have failed the class once before, I am going to spend the spring semester at SBCC just focusing on that one class. Math is my Achilles heal and taking math classes usually involves hours of attempting the homework, trying to get help and getting more confused and then quitting thus failing the class. Did I mention crying? The classes also involve a lot of frustrated crying. So if I just take that one class and get a tutor plus all the help I need, then I should be done with math by the time I reach UCSB in the fall 2014 quarter.
I don't know why so much math is required for general psychology ... I'm never EVER going to use it! But I guess I can't argue with them, I just gotta do it. After all, I have to set a good example for James. He needs to see that mommy and daddy don't quit just because something gets too difficult and so neither should he. Blah, but I still don't wanna! :-/
Focusing on this one class will give me the opportunity to work more and spend more time with James. It means he will be over 2 years old before I start school full time, which is probably good. After all, we will have just made the big move and will be back in unfamiliar surroundings and if I suddenly disappear to school all day, he may get stressed out. You know how toddlers like routine and familiar :)
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Not as easy as they said!
I have been very fit my whole life. This is most likely due to my very active lifestyle ... I played outside every day when I was little (a foreign concept these days) and went from sport to sport (ballet, soccer, basketball, field hockey, sprinting, cross country, gymnastics, modern dance, judo, sports acrobatics etc) until I got pregnant. My plan had always been to continue running and doing prenatal yoga throughout my pregnancy, but certain things (movements and poses) no longer felt comfortable and along with the morning sickness I very quickly became comfortable with sitting on the couch and keeping my legs up. I did keep walking and did prenatal yoga from time to time, but definitely not as much as I would have liked.
It took me a while to get back into working out after James came along (understandably of course) and while I said I would take my time losing the pregnancy weight it is definitely taking me longer than I thought it would. I gained a total of 35 pounds and lost 25 of that very quickly, but those last 10 pounds have been very stubborn for the last 6 months (James is 13 months). I had lost 5 of those last 10 pounds about 2 months ago, but fell back into bad eating habits and gained them back quicker than they were lost.
So here I sit again ... starting my healthy eating and exercising to once again try to beat these last 10 pounds. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm not over-weight, but I would like my body back. I have tried to embrace my new curves and I almost succeeded, but seeing photos of myself just makes me unhappy. Josh always tells me that I am beautiful and attractive and sexy and I love that he accepts my new physical self but unless you truly feel that you are attractive as you are, nobody can convince you otherwise.
I want to love my body again and I want to want to be in photos and I want to not be self conscious in a tight tshirt or bikini. So I am eating a wholesome diet and trying to get exercise 4-5 times a week. I will get healthy and I will feel happy about my physical self once again :)
It took me a while to get back into working out after James came along (understandably of course) and while I said I would take my time losing the pregnancy weight it is definitely taking me longer than I thought it would. I gained a total of 35 pounds and lost 25 of that very quickly, but those last 10 pounds have been very stubborn for the last 6 months (James is 13 months). I had lost 5 of those last 10 pounds about 2 months ago, but fell back into bad eating habits and gained them back quicker than they were lost.
So here I sit again ... starting my healthy eating and exercising to once again try to beat these last 10 pounds. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm not over-weight, but I would like my body back. I have tried to embrace my new curves and I almost succeeded, but seeing photos of myself just makes me unhappy. Josh always tells me that I am beautiful and attractive and sexy and I love that he accepts my new physical self but unless you truly feel that you are attractive as you are, nobody can convince you otherwise.
I want to love my body again and I want to want to be in photos and I want to not be self conscious in a tight tshirt or bikini. So I am eating a wholesome diet and trying to get exercise 4-5 times a week. I will get healthy and I will feel happy about my physical self once again :)
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